just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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