He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
