WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dignity is for republicans.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
