ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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