I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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