for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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