she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
