I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
