"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
