i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
