did you get engaged???
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
