This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
