My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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