I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
