Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize