i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Found the puke drawer
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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