Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
