Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
