where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
