I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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