I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
