1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
