The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
