You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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