I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
