Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
