the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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