i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize