she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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