very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
