And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
