i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize