how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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