Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You should frame my arrest warrant.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
