fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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