Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
