Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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