after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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