If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
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