i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
