Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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