Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize