chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's not a walk of shame if you run
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Your penis caused this!
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