Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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