I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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