he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
honey bunches of taint.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
