Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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