its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
