She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
