Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
