i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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