they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
