I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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