I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
