how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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