trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
