i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i now understand why vodka
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
