If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
