considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
