My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
